fish tankI’ve fallen really behind on my blog posts. I feel like I’m in trouble if I’m anywhere near my computer at NTP and I forget to do them at home. Last week we cleaned the POD. Clean-clean. I learned 2 new Amazing words on Wednesday: Pressure Washer. All hail pressure washer. Loved it till everyone on the crew was soaked and my hair was curly.

We moved the AQ1 goldfish to their new pond home. There were many losses and I fear for captive raised animals released into the wild, fish or no. At the end, though, when all the plants were gone from the systems all the things we test in water quality spiked and without intervention they all would have died in the pool. Emily convinced me that no matter what their fate in a natural environment, it’s better than dying slowly, suffocating on your own shit.

I had to kill a bunch of seedlings. Everything must go, including the last seedlings, so everything in system one that wasn’t claimed by an employee, intern or volunteer was thrown away. I’m not so good at taking life. It felt so unnecessary and sad.

I warned you all I am not good at change.  It’s become depressing to come to NTP. There are only a handful of animals left at the warehouse, only a few plants and only a couple functioning experimental systems. Everything I signed up for is in boxes. Now we’re movers.

We made a wall of alpaca fur, taking down all the boxes above the hall and out of a back room. These boxes are of show fur, and the dates and animals names are written on the outside of the boxes. It made me smile when I ran across Obi Wan. We reorganized the remaining tools and toted as much of it as we could. It’s difficult to pack other people’s things. Word down the pipeline is that we have mixed NTP stuff with personal stuff belonging to 2 different households. I’m not sure how to fix such a thing other than to have all the people involved in a dump and re-boxing effort.

I always feel like I’m in trouble now at NTP. I’m not sure how much longer I have, but for the first time I am OK knowing it will come to an end. Faces change constantly at NTP and mine will disappear too, someday; the only proof I was ever here being my initials in the data and on the data master sheets.

Susan Bain – 7.8.2014


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